My Stache

By: Jamie Peña

Transcription:

“The great thing about my entire identity is that it’s fluid and ever changing. When I first started to explore my gender I became infatuated with the idea of having facial hair. I bought a pack of fake mustaches and wore them to school, even handing them out to friends. Though most people took it as a joke, I felt as if the mustache had taken attention away from every part of my face that I was insecure about. Even with long hair and tight clothes, I felt androgynous with a mustache. After I ran out, I stopped wearing them because it’d be too expensive to continue buying more and more of these unconvincing costume mustaches. But at some point I realized the euphoria and security I felt while wearing them had nothing to do with the mustaches themselves—-I didn’t look ay different than before, other than the hairy carpet textured disguise on my face. It was about the fact that whatever I wore conformed to my identity. Wearing a mustache didn’t make me less of a girl. The same way that now, as a genderqueer person, wearing a dress doesn’t make me more of a girl. Nothing is assigned a gender unless you give it one, and people’s perceptions of your gender are not completely reliant on what you wear. The idea of man and woman controlled me for so long. Realizing that these were completely made up changed how I viewed myself and everything around me. Though it can be derealizing for some, it’s important to acknowledge that some of the things we allow to define us are fake and limiting.”

Jamie is a genderqueer, neurodivergent, Latinx student living on the east coast of the US. They are the creator of a comp zine called Infra Read, which frequently touches upon trans experiences. They enjoy making mini zines and collages in their free time, as well as playing guitar and participating in the jazz ensemble at their art school.